We were just realizing it’s been a few weeks since we’ve posted a blog update and while we wish we had exciting news to share this time, we don’t have news at all. Adoption is a long process and sometimes there are periods of “nothing-ness” and where you just have to wait, and wait, and wait some more. That is kind of where we are right now.
So for the time being, we thought of some questions that we get asked a lot by almost anyone we talk about adoption with.
Where are you in the process of adoption?
This is a question we get asked a lot, and it is a very understandable thing for people to want to know as when you announce you are having a child, people have a time frame, a due date, but when you are adopting there really isn’t one. Currently we are on a waiting list with Adoption Assistance Agency to be listed for a birth mother to pick us to adopt their child.
What time frame are you looking at for adopting?
This one usually pedals along with the previous question because that is one of the most unknown. We have been advised that an average adoption could be anywhere from 6 months to a year and a half, but there is really no way to know. Once we are off the waiting list and then complete our home study we could receive a call in a couple months or a year that a birth mom has picked us, and then of course depending on how far a long she is could add more time to the waiting.
So what age range are you wanting to adopt?
We get this a lot! Ok, while there are kids of all ages that need loving homes, for this first adoption we really want to adopt from birth. People often ask if we would be willing to adopt an older child (let’s say an 8 year old just to put an age to this) and our response always is that we don’t feel that is the stage in life we are. Normally when a couple has a child they start with a newborn and then you grow up as a parent along with your child, if we adopted an 8 year old, that is 8 years of parenting we don’t have! Maybe in the future we may be open to adopting an older child, but not for now.
Why would you pay $X for an adoption when there are free ones up through the state?/ Why does it cost so much to adopt?
We are grouping these two together because they usually go hand in hand with each other. Let’s face it, adopting is expensive and yes, you can adopt a child for close to nothing if you go through the state and we have explored that alternative and feel like it is not for us. Without going into much detail, but adopting through the state it is very hard to adopt an infant and there are a lot of stipulations to that (as in they may have an older sibling and can not be separated). Again, there are so many kids that need a loving home and right now we feel going through an agency is our best option. As far as cost it is justifiable as a lot of it goes towards health costs to the birth mother, services through the agency and legal fees.
Would you like to adopt a local (American) child or International?
Another one of those questions we get a lot and that are hard to explain sometimes. We have chosen to go through an agency that works with local (as in the State of New Mexico) families. We have considered international and we don’t have anything against people who decide to take that route but it is not for us. We feel there are many kids in this county who’s life could be changed by a loving family in their own country, and while there is a huge need in many other countries as well, sometime our local ones are the ones that get forgotten.
These are just some of the questions we get asked the most because there are so many different ones and we love answering your questions. We may do another one of these in the future.