I turned 30 on Sunday (September 13) and Danielle had a little plan to welcome me to a new decade of my life. Apparently she had been planning on throwing me a surprise birthday party since before we even got married.
Why wait until 30? When we got married I was 26, which had already passed that milestone of 25, so 30 made sense. All day I was thinking we were going to go out (this was Friday) and just celebrate very low key, but as I was leaving work she called me asking me if I could stop and pick up some Aleve, so I did (she was really trying buy time). I got home and saw party signs and heard a loud “SURPRISE!” from a group of our closest friends, and wow was I surprised?!
Married men, your wife is your best friend and your biggest supporter and mine is special, she is so caring and loving and just think of all the smallest details to make sure I am happy. I couldn’t really think of anyone better to go through life and parenthood with. It makes me sad when I see and hear of men that treat their wives terribly as if they were idiots and have no respect for them, because your wife is the person that God handpicked to walk along your side.
So far my 30s have started really great, and as I ponder what the next decade will be like (which I have no idea) I am happy that I get to do that (and many more) with my wife Danielle.
Ok, so just like my wife I usually don’t subscribe to cliches, but I felt like my wife is deserving of being my Woman Crush Wednesday every day! (Also, she said some really pretty things in this blog post about me the other day so it is my turn to give back).
My wife Danielle is a great woman, my best friend and partner for the rest of my life and I really can’t imagine anyone else to do life with. One of the (many) things I love about my wife the most is how loving, caring and compassionate she is. Anyone that has ever met her in person knows and can agree that she has a big heart, which is why she is a social worker. She has such a huge heart for making an impact and helping others learn and improve their life situations and I don’t know how she does it, some days I just sit and wonder how she deals with some of the things and stories she hears from the women and children she works with.
There is no doubt in my mind that when the day of adoption finally comes she will be a great Mom, and will definitely be like no Mom I have ever met. We often joke about how our kids from a very young age will use terms like “safety boundaries” and “coping skills” that their little friends may find it annoying, but that is because she will always make sure that they are safe and will teach them those valuable lessons, plus she learned from her Mom who is a great woman. I have so much respect for my Mother in law because she worked so hard to make sure that her daughters not only lacked anything, but would grow up to be strong women and I see that every day in my wife eyes. I know that Danielle will strive to be a great parent, just like her Mom is.
I am blessed to have her walking in this adoption path with me, and it is a path we never imagined we would end up walking, at least not at this point of our lives. I will never forget one of the very first real conversations we had when we started entertaining the idea of struggling with fertility, Danielle in tears talked about how yes it is great that while we don’t have kids we have freedom, we can pack up our bags and go out of town or go out late for dinner or to the movies without having to worry about finding a baby sitter or someone to watch her kids, but that she would also give that all up to be a Mom. She would give up in a heart beat all to be a Mother and hearing those words was one of the most heart breaking things to hear. This came from a strong woman realizing the one thing she wanted the most, may not be a possibility for her, that she may never get to experience what it is like to feel her baby move or kick inside her. It was truly a tough moment for me as a husband to witness that, but it was also one of the moments that marked the beginning of our adoption journey, because after that, we knew that adoption was what we wanted to do and that we were not going to miss out on anything. We knew that our life and our legacy was going to be that God had selected a child to be raised by us as one of our own, and we would not change that for anything in the world!
Our children will be so lucky to have such an amazing and loving Mom and I can’t wait to see as that happens in front of my very own eyes!
Okay, so I know how cliche it is to title the post #MCM, especially on a Monday. I did want to share a story about Luis.
A couple weekends ago, we had some friends of ours ask us to watch their 1 year old son. I was very excited, but also a bit nervous. I work with kids all day at work, but somehow knowing that I am responsible for the care of a small child with mom and dad not in the house made me nervous. Our friends have an amazingly well behaved and sweet kid. He is a joy to be around! Anyway, we were excited and ready to go. Luis did such an amazing job. He played games and was interactive and attentive. He did everything right, and was so confident with what he was doing. He really embodied all of the qualities that you dream about when you think of the qualities that you want for the father of your kids. He did amazing. His eyes lit up when playing with that kid. He was completely in his element. I didn’t know that parenting could look so natural until I saw him. It reminded me of when we were buying our house. I had seen houses before, but didn’t look at them with “buyers eyes”. I had seem Luis interact with kids before, but never really saw him through the same eyes as I did when I saw a glimpse of what he will be like as a dad.
I am so lucky to have an amazing husband who has a heart that longs to be a father. On the days that I am doubting myself, I know that I have an amazing partner to lean on. Adopting is hard. Parenting will be hard, and I know that we need to be united as a team. He has been so focused and excited when we talk about our future child. He has such a gracious heart, and prays daily for the woman that is (or will be) carrying our child. Since the day that we got married, Luis has looked forward to being a dad. I know that our baby will be just as blessed to have this man as their dad. This baby will be so lucky!
Luis, you are my #MCM, today and everyday, and I am so glad that I get to go on this journey with you. We have had our ups and downs, but there is no one on earth I would rather be on this crazy train with than you. I am so lucky that you get to be my baby’s father, and I can’t wait to see you thrive!
We like to go out…when we can, of course! We both work and have responsibilities, so anytime we get a chance to go out on a date we take it! We also are enjoying still being able to go out when we want, we have several friends with children and it is sometimes hard to get together because they have to figure out child care to go out on dates. Even with all that, we still look forward for the day to comes when we will be rambling and trying to find someone to watch our children, but we also like when we can just get in our car and go out.
Tonight we went to a restaurant we don’t really go very often but every time we do we think “why don’t we come here more often?” and say that we will go more often, Luna Rossa. This is a small Italian restaurant in the town of Mesilla, which is right next to Las Cruces, where we live. They have some really good pizza, great wine and some of the best Gelato around!
We like to have fun and go out, and when we do we enjoy:
– Good food, preferably local.
– Coffee and coffee-like desserts
– Ice Cream
– Beer (craft beer for Luis, the snob) and wine
– Parks and just enjoying the local scene
– We also like to travel and go to new places, but financially that is not always possible to do.
Just like any other married couple, having fun and just being ourselves is a big part of our relationship and something we will always encourage our future children to do.
Luis & Danielle