Hearts, home and bags ready

We had a difficult week last week. Without going into much detail we heard of a potential opportunity that seems to have fallen through by this point. While last week was definitely hard for us, we felt that if the time was right, we were ready to receive a child in our home.

Our baby room is pretty much all set. Obviously it will forever be a work in progress as we add and as a child grows in it, but we have the basics of what you need to welcome a child. First few months, the baby would sleep in our room obviously, but it is definitely good to know that we have everything pretty much set and ready to go.

One thing that we have learned and has been the hardest for us is that with adoption there is no time frame, it isn’t like having biological children that you know you have so many months to prepare for a child, that has been one of the hardest things for us. Yes, we could get a call that a pregnant woman wants to meet us and she may be half way through pregnancy or close to giving birth and that would give us some kind of hypothetical time frame, but we could also just get a call and have to take off. We are grateful that we have both had that talk with our employers that we may just need to leave suddenly one day and start our leave at work, we are both blessed to have understanding bosses that are perfectly OK with that happening.

We are more ready than we have ever been, our home and hearts are so ready for this!

baby-room

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We’ve officially started our home study

A thing we have learned through out this adoption process is that when things are slow and silent, patience is the key to survival. Then when things are moving they are fast and they happen right away and there is no slowing down.

We won’t give too many details on exactly what happens during, but today officially marked the start of the home study process! Today we had our first home visit from our social worker who is conducting the study, which is huge. As we have said before, the home study is a 90 day process that is required for every adoption, after that we will be ready to be listed and have our album shown to birth mothers in hopes to picked by one to adopt their baby.

We’ll keep you posted as things progress, but this means we officially are taking the next huge step to meet Baby G!

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More on the home study

Smile-thumbs-up-clip-art-clipart-image-0Things are finally moving along, and a lot sooner than we expected too! Today we spoke with the social worker and we scheduled our home study, which will take place soon. There are some things we need to start working on before we get started, but we have all the confidence that we will get it all done and take care of.

For those of you who are not familiar with the adoption process, the home study is the first real step towards adoption, this is basically a study done on our home (that is where the name comes from), our lives, and basically how we would do as parents raising a child. This to many may sound intrusive or even unnecessary, but it is something all families adopting have to do as it is a requirement across the board for any type of adoption.

We’ll keep you posted as we actively get to the process, home studies typically are a 90 day process so we will be doing a lot through out the next few months but once that is completed we should be good to go for the agency to show our album to birth moms and be one step much closer to being parents!

 

Birthmoms and what they mean to us

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(In order to protect the privacy of these brave women, we are omitting names or even stories we have heard, as those are not ours to tell).

One of the things we loved the most about the training we attended was the panel towards the end where we were introduced to adopted parents, adoptees and birthmothers who had placed their children for adoption. We really enjoyed hearing all of the stories and experiences, but what we got the most out of was the stories we heard from the birth mothers and their experience.

Before going to this training, one of the things that we had conversations about was the subject of open vs closed adoptions. We had talked with our friends that have adopted, and got a wide variety of feedback about their personal experiences. At first, the term “open adoption” seemed a bit daunting, and it was hard for us to visualize what that would look like. Based on our research, personal experience, and the guidance from others, we felt that a semi open adoption was something that we were interested in. Throughout the weekend, we felt our hearts be moved so deeply for the birthmoms that we met. We felt a confirmation in our hearts that having the option to contact the birth mom, and keep her or her family updated on the life of our child, is not only something that we are open to, but something that we are excited for. It is easy to get caught up in differences and worries. It is easy to worry about the things that make an open adoption sound scary. We have learned that although we may be very different in many ways, there is one thing that is the same. We both love this child. We both will make life changing sacrifices for this child. We both will see The Lord in new and amazing ways through the gift of adoption. We both are different pieces of the puzzle of who our child is, and we would not be complete without each other.

Birth mothers make a huge sacrifice when they decide to place their child for adoption, sometimes they decide on their own, sometimes the birth father or their parents are involved in their decision. Regardless of what moved them to make that decision, there is still grief, there is a loss and there is the need for healing. One of the things we loved the most about our agency is the fact that they continue to offer support and counseling to the birth families as well, as some agencies kind of just match and then it is the end of the story. They are often forgotten or just seen as a means to an end to a family who is adopting and then they are just left to deal with it on their own. We talked at length with the case worker during our consultation about the process of healing and what that looks like for them, which is why they encourage that even if a closed adoption is what the birth mom wants to still write letter and maybe send pictures to the agency as they have seen before that in some cases they will come or contact them just wanting to know how the child is doing and this also helps them heal and be reassured that they made the right choice.

We know nothing about our birth mother, if she will want an open or a closed adoption, if she will want to get pictures and letters or not. We don’t know what she likes, what her background is or anything. We don’t know if the birth father will be involved in the decision, or won’t care. There is so much we don’t know, but we are excited to get to that place, even if that is still a while away. Birth mothers are strong.

November is Adoption Awareness Month

National-Adoption-Month

Yes, November is Adoption Awareness Month!

This is one of the things that we were not aware existed before we started the journey to adoption, but now it means so much to us than we thought it would. We also can’t believe we have been in plans of adopting since June…wow!

OK, so as an adoptive family, what will we do for this month?

Aside from blog posts about adoption, we are committing to donate a percentage of anything we raise in donations via PayPal to an adoption related organization. It is great to give back too!

If you have a minute, and feel lead to please consider helping us, and helping others as well:

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Fatherly Hopes

Father’s Day is today and as I ponder about the fact that someday in the future I will get to be a Father, I can’t help to think about my own on this day that celebrates Dads around the world and how, even though it has taken me long to realize this, I feel I am becoming more and more like my own Dad as time goes by.

unnamedHis name is Armando Guerrero Chavez, born in a small town called El Chilar in the state of Oaxaca in Mexico, but he grew up most of his childhood in the beautiful city of Puebla in Mexico. My Dad was born to a very large and poor family being one of 9 (surviving) children my Grandparents had (I was always told there was at least a few more that died either really young or at birth). As many children who come from poor families he had to work very hard from a very young age and lived through a lot that many his age shouldn’t have to. He grew up, went to school and worked very hard to better himself so his children would never have to live the kind of life he did when he was a young boy.

My Dad and I bumped heads a lot growing up, specially in my teenage years. I was a brat and like most teenagers thought I knew everything there is to know about everything is the world. As I grew up, got married and eventually started thinking of starting a family of my own, I have really come to appreciate his hard work and dedication for his family.

He is probably one of these hardest working men I know and a good example of someone who will do what he can to make sure his family never has to struggle. We were never wealthy growing up in Mexico City, maybe more like middle class, but we didn’t have as much as other kids I went to school with, but we always had food, clothing and a roof over our head and that is what matters the most. I really hope some day when I am a Father myself I can be as great as you, or even just close at all.

Happy Father’s Day Dad!

Love, your oldest son,

Luis

(P.S.- The picture above is my Dad holding me in what according to my Mom I was only a few days old and probably just back from the hospital. This picture, among other family pictures of ours is on what we call our “G” wall that keeps growing and will continue to grow as our family grows bigger.)