More on the home study

Smile-thumbs-up-clip-art-clipart-image-0Things are finally moving along, and a lot sooner than we expected too! Today we spoke with the social worker and we scheduled our home study, which will take place soon. There are some things we need to start working on before we get started, but we have all the confidence that we will get it all done and take care of.

For those of you who are not familiar with the adoption process, the home study is the first real step towards adoption, this is basically a study done on our home (that is where the name comes from), our lives, and basically how we would do as parents raising a child. This to many may sound intrusive or even unnecessary, but it is something all families adopting have to do as it is a requirement across the board for any type of adoption.

We’ll keep you posted as we actively get to the process, home studies typically are a 90 day process so we will be doing a lot through out the next few months but once that is completed we should be good to go for the agency to show our album to birth moms and be one step much closer to being parents!

 

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Guerrero summer and upcoming things

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Hi everyone! We fully acknowledge that we have not been very good at keeping you posted on what has been going on in our journey this summer (so far, of course!). This is in part because things have been a little busy here at the home front, Danielle is full gear back in school pursuing her Masters in Social Work and I (Luis) have been very busy with work and being a full supporter of my wife and her education.

We have been meaning to update the blog for some time now but the lack of news and other things made it difficult to sit down and do it, but we have some great news moving forward with our adoption that we have been holding on to for a few days as we decided what to do exactly.

So early this week we got an email from our adoption agency asking for an update on how our fundraiser is going and letting us know they have been considering moving things a little bit faster and asked us if we would be interested in starting our home study early through a contracted Social Worker that they work with here in Las Cruces. They told us to discuss it and think about it as this would definitely save us time because then we could get listed sooner and they could start showing our album to birth mothers a lot sooner if we do it now as we are so close from being off the waiting list and becoming an active family. Doing this could potentially save us around 3 months as the home study is a 90 day process and they can’t start doing it until we have completely been taken off the waiting list, which is why they recommended we contacted this social worker that they have done a lot of work with and is based here locally (remember, our agency is in Albuquerque, which is about 3-4 hrs from here).

After talking about it we decided that yes, we would like to move forward with it so hopefully we can start working on our home study soon. This is a crucial part of the adoption process as it gives the agency, the state and birth mothers a bigger picture of who we are as individuals. Our agency works directly with birth mothers and some of them get to pick who they would want raising their child (in some cases they prefer the agency choose for them), so making sure we get all of our ducks in a row is very important.

The agency gave us the contact information for this social worker, although we will probably still hold off on calling her for a couple weeks as there are some things we need to prepare for around the house that we weren’t expecting to have to do for another 2 or 3 months at least, but we will soon!

We will keep you posted on how this goes soon, again sorry for the lack of posting and updating lately.

Love,

The Guerreros

Birthmoms and what they mean to us

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(In order to protect the privacy of these brave women, we are omitting names or even stories we have heard, as those are not ours to tell).

One of the things we loved the most about the training we attended was the panel towards the end where we were introduced to adopted parents, adoptees and birthmothers who had placed their children for adoption. We really enjoyed hearing all of the stories and experiences, but what we got the most out of was the stories we heard from the birth mothers and their experience.

Before going to this training, one of the things that we had conversations about was the subject of open vs closed adoptions. We had talked with our friends that have adopted, and got a wide variety of feedback about their personal experiences. At first, the term “open adoption” seemed a bit daunting, and it was hard for us to visualize what that would look like. Based on our research, personal experience, and the guidance from others, we felt that a semi open adoption was something that we were interested in. Throughout the weekend, we felt our hearts be moved so deeply for the birthmoms that we met. We felt a confirmation in our hearts that having the option to contact the birth mom, and keep her or her family updated on the life of our child, is not only something that we are open to, but something that we are excited for. It is easy to get caught up in differences and worries. It is easy to worry about the things that make an open adoption sound scary. We have learned that although we may be very different in many ways, there is one thing that is the same. We both love this child. We both will make life changing sacrifices for this child. We both will see The Lord in new and amazing ways through the gift of adoption. We both are different pieces of the puzzle of who our child is, and we would not be complete without each other.

Birth mothers make a huge sacrifice when they decide to place their child for adoption, sometimes they decide on their own, sometimes the birth father or their parents are involved in their decision. Regardless of what moved them to make that decision, there is still grief, there is a loss and there is the need for healing. One of the things we loved the most about our agency is the fact that they continue to offer support and counseling to the birth families as well, as some agencies kind of just match and then it is the end of the story. They are often forgotten or just seen as a means to an end to a family who is adopting and then they are just left to deal with it on their own. We talked at length with the case worker during our consultation about the process of healing and what that looks like for them, which is why they encourage that even if a closed adoption is what the birth mom wants to still write letter and maybe send pictures to the agency as they have seen before that in some cases they will come or contact them just wanting to know how the child is doing and this also helps them heal and be reassured that they made the right choice.

We know nothing about our birth mother, if she will want an open or a closed adoption, if she will want to get pictures and letters or not. We don’t know what she likes, what her background is or anything. We don’t know if the birth father will be involved in the decision, or won’t care. There is so much we don’t know, but we are excited to get to that place, even if that is still a while away. Birth mothers are strong.

The example of others

Just like the title says, we love reading and hearing other stories about adoption. Recently we saw this on Facebook (click here to get to link). This couple went through a similar experience as us (except we didn’t really go to IVF or fertility path) and found adoption being the way for their life and their family.

Today, they still continue to maintain their blog in a similar fashion we hope to in the future after we have completed our adoption because we feel a big calling in our lives aside from being parents, is to help others cope and find support when it comes to adoption because even though there are tons of websites, many books and blogs, adoption is a hard journey and can seem like a hard and even lonely journey at time. Don’t get us wrong, family and friends have been a great support circle for us, but it is always great to hear and learn from other people’s experience who can relate to what we are going through.

Please check out their blog and we hope that ours inspires others in the future who may be in the journey of adoption or just starting.

Things are getting real now…very real!

shutterstock_152604476-337x251We leave to Albuquerque, NM in just a few days to attend a mandatory CYFD adoption training through the adoption agency we are working with as stated in our previous blog post. This training serves a dual purposed, the first being of course a state required training in order to proceed with the adoption process and the second purpose to be introduced to the agency staff as well as officially begin the process of adoption. We are still a long ways away from actually having our child placed in our home and in our lives, but it is actually starting. This is actually happening.

The adoption process is officially starting.

For what has been about a year we have been getting our finances in order, praying, preparing and getting excited for one of the biggest adventures in our lives. This year has been very trying as we have been faced with our fears and have learned to overcome them (like for example, how in the world are we going to afford this?), but we have also grown closer and have been in the process of being molded into the parents that we are going to be.

But now things are getting real. It is no longer “hey, we are planning on adopting!”, it is shifting and transitioning into “we are starting the process of adoption”. This is the moment we have been waiting for, and some time in the future that will end in us being parents.

We are amazed at how things have progressed and there is still a long process to go, but we are excited that things are finally moving along and can’t wait to tell you all about the training and what our next steps will be.

Love,

The Guerreros

Adoption training in a couple weeks

Hi Family and Friends!

Sorry for the lack of posting over the last month, we have been a little busy and also not too much has happened other than the yard sale. As we said in previous posts, we kind of entered this weird stage of nothing happening with our adoption and just stagnant waiting, but this is taking a change…

IMG_0741We are going to our adoption training in a couple weeks!

A couple weeks ago we got our official invitation from the agency inviting us to attend their training, which is the official beginning of the adoption process with them. Of course, we are still months (maybe even up to another year) away from actually have a child in our arms, but this is the very beginning as we have so far mostly been fundraising and have moved from waiting list to waiting list.

After this training (which is a state mandated training) for adoption we will hopefully soon schedule our home study so that after that long process is completed (it can take up to 90 days to complete), our profile can be shown to birth mothers that the agency works with and hopefully we get the call that a woman has chosen to give us her baby for adoption. Again, this all could easily still be several months or even up to a year, but we are hopeful that it will happen.

The training is a state mandated training but will also have some great activities like learning about the agency, meeting the staff in person, testimonials from families that have adopted, adoptees and even birth moms that have given their babies for adoption. We have a lot to look forward to with this training, it will be an encouraging, but also an emotional few days, but totally worth it in the end.

 

 

We call that a success!

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This weekend we had our adoption yard sale fundraiser, and boy did we not know what we were signing up for! It was a lot of work but definitely the hard work paid off.

From family and friends gathering stuff and spring cleaning their homes, to volunteers that showed up to help set up and clean up as well as friends that so graciously let us borrow their home and space to have our yard sale, this became another clear example to us of the community that loves us and supports us and that we are so grateful to be a part of and that we also can’t wait until we have this child placed in our home and lives to share this joy with some day.

As we got a chance to rest and debrief about it, we are so grateful for all the help. We started the morning around 4:30 to get ready and set up and had some early birds waiting already to go over our stuff. We also were amazed at what seems to be this yard sale sub-culture we did not know much about, as we folks came and went looking for what they needed, it was awesome to know that every dollar is going towards the adoption fund we have working so hard to increase.

From the bottom of our hearts, thank you!

Love,

The Guerreros