Hearts, home and bags ready

We had a difficult week last week. Without going into much detail we heard of a potential opportunity that seems to have fallen through by this point. While last week was definitely hard for us, we felt that if the time was right, we were ready to receive a child in our home.

Our baby room is pretty much all set. Obviously it will forever be a work in progress as we add and as a child grows in it, but we have the basics of what you need to welcome a child. First few months, the baby would sleep in our room obviously, but it is definitely good to know that we have everything pretty much set and ready to go.

One thing that we have learned and has been the hardest for us is that with adoption there is no time frame, it isn’t like having biological children that you know you have so many months to prepare for a child, that has been one of the hardest things for us. Yes, we could get a call that a pregnant woman wants to meet us and she may be half way through pregnancy or close to giving birth and that would give us some kind of hypothetical time frame, but we could also just get a call and have to take off. We are grateful that we have both had that talk with our employers that we may just need to leave suddenly one day and start our leave at work, we are both blessed to have understanding bosses that are perfectly OK with that happening.

We are more ready than we have ever been, our home and hearts are so ready for this!

baby-room

Advertisements

And what a year we had!

First of all, Happy New Year to all! We hope that this next year brings you what you want and hope for, and while 2016 may have been a rough year for many of us in many ways, the hope of a New Year means a fresh and clean start.

This last year was huge for us as we saw many things fall into place in our road to becoming parents. We started 2016 thinking maybe “this would be the one”, only to be reminded that adoption takes long and is a lot of waiting. This is not without saying that we knew for sure that we would have a baby this past year, but maybe with some hopes that things would move a little faster, and while things did move in the right direction we were reminded that all that is good is worth the wait.

We were however able to make some huge leaps in our journey:

  • We attended an incredible training with our adoption agency in which we were re-assured that we are doing the right thing and learned so much about the process. You can get a refresher of that by clicking here.
  • After much waiting we (FINALLY) were ready to be taken off from the waiting list for the waiting list and then became a listed family and are officially waiting (hopefully soon) for a call that either a birth family has picked us or the agency got word from a hospital that a baby has been born and they believe that should be our baby.
  • We are thankful that we were connected with such a great Social Worker to do our home study this year (click here to read some about it).
  • The baby room is turning from just being our spare/overflow room into a real room for a child (still a work in progress though). We purposely wanted to wait until all the other steps mentioned above were met to start setting up the room.

As you can tell, 2016 was a year that saw a lot of good moves in our life, and while we are still waiting for whatever comes next, we are grateful that things have taken the time they have. It is easy for people to say “it shouldn’t take this long to adopt” or “why does it take so long to adopt?”, but for us this has been perfect timing as we have had other things happen this year (Danielle starting Grad school!) and even still working on some fundraisers (as we finally started paying for some of the expenses that come along with adopting.

We don’t know what this new year will bring but we are sure this crazy and wild adoption adventure will continue, and we are excited to share it with you all!

15781017_10101328464229321_8744608553228211930_n

Happy New Year 2017 from the Guerreros!

Nesting and other fun stuff

targetSo far we have been slightly slow on the “getting the baby room ready” department, this is mostly because of the fact that we have been on the waiting list to be on the waiting list, and then on another official waiting list. We didn’t want to get too excited about buying baby things, assembling furniture and preparing the room because we figured “it’s going to be a while”.

That is until now of course! If you scroll down to our previous blog post (as in this one right here), you will remember that we FINALLY got taken off the official waiting list and are now ready to be moved to being an active family for potential birth parents to view our profile. We have been careful with not setting up the baby room and getting too much baby stuff until this point. We’ve been given a few things like a crib, bassinet, high chair and a few necessities. Today we bought a few other things to set up “the room” and feels great to be nesting.

The time is coming close for us…well at least we would like to think it is close. Yesterday we got to fill out some paperwork (some of it hard to do, more on that in a later post) and our home study is just about finalized. We are about to officially become a “listed” family with our agency, Adoption Assistance Agency. The Agency we are working with only works with 10 families at a time and we are getting moved up to being one of those active families that they work with. This means once everything is set to go we could get a call in a matter of weeks or it could be months (or longer) that either a birth parent is interested in our profile or they could call us telling us a baby has been born that fits our profile. We are being proactive and trying to be as ready as we can for when the baby comes because as we have said before, when you’re adopting there really isn’t a specific time frame to wait, it could be from one moment to another that we could be parents.

We want to be ready for you!

Love,

Future Mom and Dad!

 

Birthmoms and what they mean to us

birth-mother

(In order to protect the privacy of these brave women, we are omitting names or even stories we have heard, as those are not ours to tell).

One of the things we loved the most about the training we attended was the panel towards the end where we were introduced to adopted parents, adoptees and birthmothers who had placed their children for adoption. We really enjoyed hearing all of the stories and experiences, but what we got the most out of was the stories we heard from the birth mothers and their experience.

Before going to this training, one of the things that we had conversations about was the subject of open vs closed adoptions. We had talked with our friends that have adopted, and got a wide variety of feedback about their personal experiences. At first, the term “open adoption” seemed a bit daunting, and it was hard for us to visualize what that would look like. Based on our research, personal experience, and the guidance from others, we felt that a semi open adoption was something that we were interested in. Throughout the weekend, we felt our hearts be moved so deeply for the birthmoms that we met. We felt a confirmation in our hearts that having the option to contact the birth mom, and keep her or her family updated on the life of our child, is not only something that we are open to, but something that we are excited for. It is easy to get caught up in differences and worries. It is easy to worry about the things that make an open adoption sound scary. We have learned that although we may be very different in many ways, there is one thing that is the same. We both love this child. We both will make life changing sacrifices for this child. We both will see The Lord in new and amazing ways through the gift of adoption. We both are different pieces of the puzzle of who our child is, and we would not be complete without each other.

Birth mothers make a huge sacrifice when they decide to place their child for adoption, sometimes they decide on their own, sometimes the birth father or their parents are involved in their decision. Regardless of what moved them to make that decision, there is still grief, there is a loss and there is the need for healing. One of the things we loved the most about our agency is the fact that they continue to offer support and counseling to the birth families as well, as some agencies kind of just match and then it is the end of the story. They are often forgotten or just seen as a means to an end to a family who is adopting and then they are just left to deal with it on their own. We talked at length with the case worker during our consultation about the process of healing and what that looks like for them, which is why they encourage that even if a closed adoption is what the birth mom wants to still write letter and maybe send pictures to the agency as they have seen before that in some cases they will come or contact them just wanting to know how the child is doing and this also helps them heal and be reassured that they made the right choice.

We know nothing about our birth mother, if she will want an open or a closed adoption, if she will want to get pictures and letters or not. We don’t know what she likes, what her background is or anything. We don’t know if the birth father will be involved in the decision, or won’t care. There is so much we don’t know, but we are excited to get to that place, even if that is still a while away. Birth mothers are strong.

HUGE news we need to share

61ae1ac1-2bee-47c0-a521-e3300e055a0c

OK, huge to us!

Today we received a very awesome e-mail that we were not expecting at all. Our adoption agency let us know that we are officially on the waiting list, the actual waiting list!

Let’s pause for a second and explain what this means. The agency we are working with has a list of 10 active families that are listed and their profiles are shown to potential birth mothers. When we first signed up with the agency we were added to a waiting-waiting list and now we have been bumped up to the official waiting list, of which they only allow 5 families to be on at all times. This means as families adopt their child, we move up on the list, and this means there are only 4 families ahead of us and then we are officially an active family after that, which means we will be one step closer to adopt our kid.

Oh wow!

So what happens next? This is the even more exciting part of the huge news we received. We were sent the adoption application and questionnaires for our home study and we need to fill them out before January 18th. This means…WE FOR REAL OFFICIALLY GET TO START THE ADOPTION PROCESS!!!

Yes, this is not anymore “hey we are adopting and hey we are on a list and we are waiting”, this means we actually get to begin the process of adoption. This is so crazy!

We will keep you posted on the next steps of the process, but we are both overjoyed and can’t believe that this huge step just happened!

Happy Adoption Day (from the Guerreros)

12247088_10100943948122681_242721457187895992_n

Yes! Today is one of our favorite days of the year: National Adoption Day!

Join us and celebrate with us thinking and praying about children needing homes and loving families. This year has changed our lives and our hearts so much as we’ve been preparing for adoption, and what a better time as the Holidays are approaching to get ready for a great next year.

Happy Adoption Day!

Love, The Guerreros